10:09 am thought

I am torn between the present and the future.
Every fact I discover,
Every direction I turn,
Every situation I face and every decision I make,
I know will alter whatever's in my future.
I'm just uncertain now, and I know I shouldn't worry or stress my self about it. Because no one knows what their future certainly holds for them. But I just can't stop my mind from going there.

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You tell me

Its so cliché to feel butterflies
when your name came out
from the lips of someone special,
But to me, its the other way around.
Whenever you utter my name,
its always because you are mad at me,
or pissed by something.
It just saddens me.
Should it really be this way?
Or the the former?

—————-
For me, I like saying your name actually, instead of an endearment,
Because for me your name is a special word, its like magic in my lips whenever I pronounce it. I guess it will never be that way to you.

2:10 am

I'm up late contemplating life.
Am I that hard on myself?
Am I allowed to be mad at myself?
Is this middle age crises came to soon?
Life's really a hell of a ride. 
But you gotta do, what you gotta do to survive and live your life to the fullest.

Well, probably…

Its just the cringe and self regret of the things I so irresponsibly did. 
From the simple ignoring of someone's opinion to saying no instead of yes. 

What I learn is that,…

Life will teach you that lesson constantly, over and over again until you learned it whole heartedly.

So regrets be dammed,…

You are what you are right now because of those lessons learned.

So,..

Be strong, courageous and never say no to things you really want.
Opportunities rarely knock on the same door twice.

Blank Page

In a world full of grass and trees with different colors and heights I feel lost. 

Like a leaf floating wherever the wind blows and take it, wherever the waves flows and drown it. 

Its like a black hole occur in time and suck everything.

And now I feel nothing, like a blank page without anything.

Freestyle

A Storm Approaching

The sky is dark like a polluted water
While the wind blew cold whispers
As I stare blankly at the window
I realize how unease the birds are
They sense what’s coming.

Trapped

I feel like I was a trapped bird in a tree
With wings I could use as an instrument to escape
The branches that forms as a cage
But I can’t, Im trapped and there’s nothing I could do
I shout and cried as hard as I could
Yet no one heard and come to help.

Sunless Sky

Though the breeze suggest coldness
The clouds turn pink and red and orange
It is definitely sunset
But without the presence of the sun itself.