Don’t use me

Be true to yourself,
I am not a substitute,
I ain't an alternative,
Neither a replacement,
For something you can't have.

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Let’s end this burden from each other

I stopped loving you from the moment you whispered his name unknowingly.

I stopped trying from the moment I saw him in your eyes.

Why will I spend a single more heartbeat when all you see and think is him.

The price of Love

"You know what it cost me?" He asked.
"What?"
"Time." He looked at me sadly.
"Its the most valuable price, not money, jewelry, land or even knowledge could replace it." He continued.
I look at him, confusion lingers in me even though I know I don't have a body.
I'm a mere conscience now, like a cloud floating endlessly.
But how come that he is here.
He smiled. "I would give all the time I have just to hear your heart beating again once more."
And suddenly a wind seems to blow my soul away.
"I hope you'll use my time wisely, and be happy." He wave goodbye.
And a lightning strike, a thunder blasted and I was jolted awake in my bedroom, warmth surrounds me from the storm outside.
That's when I realized I will never see him again.
I will never hear him speak my name again.
I will never have the chance to thank him anymore for loving me unconditionally, even though I don't deserve him.
And I cried, and cried until my lungs are out of air, until my head feels light and I fell asleep once again.
Hoping that I will see him and reciprocate the love he always give to me.

Closure

You set me free,
Yet you came running after me.
You court me back,
Yet I still decline.
You are consistent thru those years,
Yet you also look somewhere else.
So why will I accept your heart again,
It seems you are undecided.
Like you want a sure triumph,
Than risk a chance on me again.
Yet somehow we had our final closure,
Something we didn't had a chance then.
Probably that's why now we are content,
To our own path separately.

You tell me

Its so cliché to feel butterflies
when your name came out
from the lips of someone special,
But to me, its the other way around.
Whenever you utter my name,
its always because you are mad at me,
or pissed by something.
It just saddens me.
Should it really be this way?
Or the the former?

—————-
For me, I like saying your name actually, instead of an endearment,
Because for me your name is a special word, its like magic in my lips whenever I pronounce it. I guess it will never be that way to you.

2:10 am

I'm up late contemplating life.
Am I that hard on myself?
Am I allowed to be mad at myself?
Is this middle age crises came to soon?
Life's really a hell of a ride. 
But you gotta do, what you gotta do to survive and live your life to the fullest.

Well, probably…

Its just the cringe and self regret of the things I so irresponsibly did. 
From the simple ignoring of someone's opinion to saying no instead of yes. 

What I learn is that,…

Life will teach you that lesson constantly, over and over again until you learned it whole heartedly.

So regrets be dammed,…

You are what you are right now because of those lessons learned.

So,..

Be strong, courageous and never say no to things you really want.
Opportunities rarely knock on the same door twice.

Picture in a Frame

You see a perfected image
Behind a flawed personality
You may think I’m matured enough
But I still think like a child
I don’t know how to grow
In the four corners of my small world
I hope that someday I may outgrow this cage that I live in
That I may be courageous enough
To show the world the real image of me
Without hesitation of what others may think or say
Without the doubt that I always carry within me