I am torn between the present and the future. Every fact I discover, Every direction I turn, Every situation I face and every decision I make, I know will alter whatever's in my future. I'm just uncertain now, and I know I shouldn't worry or stress my self about it. Because no one knows what their future certainly holds for them. But I just can't stop my mind from going there.
There'll gonna be instances when you will doubt your decisions. Just always remember why you came up with that decision, what you felt about that moment and forget what the rest of the world says. Because its yours to live and you don't give a fuck about theirs.
"You know what it cost me?" He asked. "What?" "Time." He looked at me sadly. "Its the most valuable price, not money, jewelry, land or even knowledge could replace it." He continued. I look at him, confusion lingers in me even though I know I don't have a body. I'm a mere conscience now, like a cloud floating endlessly. But how come that he is here. He smiled. "I would give all the time I have just to hear your heart beating again once more." And suddenly a wind seems to blow my soul away. "I hope you'll use my time wisely, and be happy." He wave goodbye. And a lightning strike, a thunder blasted and I was jolted awake in my bedroom, warmth surrounds me from the storm outside. That's when I realized I will never see him again. I will never hear him speak my name again. I will never have the chance to thank him anymore for loving me unconditionally, even though I don't deserve him. And I cried, and cried until my lungs are out of air, until my head feels light and I fell asleep once again. Hoping that I will see him and reciprocate the love he always give to me.
Its so cliché to feel butterflies when your name came out from the lips of someone special, But to me, its the other way around. Whenever you utter my name, its always because you are mad at me, or pissed by something. It just saddens me. Should it really be this way? Or the the former?
—————- For me, I like saying your name actually, instead of an endearment, Because for me your name is a special word, its like magic in my lips whenever I pronounce it. I guess it will never be that way to you.