I'm up late contemplating life. Am I that hard on myself? Am I allowed to be mad at myself? Is this middle age crises came to soon? Life's really a hell of a ride. But you gotta do, what you gotta do to survive and live your life to the fullest.
Its just the cringe and self regret of the things I so irresponsibly did. From the simple ignoring of someone's opinion to saying no instead of yes.
What I learn is that,…
Life will teach you that lesson constantly, over and over again until you learned it whole heartedly.
So regrets be dammed,…
You are what you are right now because of those lessons learned.
Be strong, courageous and never say no to things you really want. Opportunities rarely knock on the same door twice.
How life throws you marshmallows and whole nuts sometimes. Well I don’t know if I could consider the news I’ve received today as a good one or not. I’ve been waiting for how long now and I’ll still be waiting for like a few months. Its just that there are these what if’s in my mind and time is running also Im running out of plans and resources. I don’t know what to do. Oh if life is as smooth and creamy as chocolate syrup I would perfectly dive in. ( and yeah I’m craving for a rocky road ice cream )
Sometimes you have those off day. Days you don’t feel great. Days were it seems that the optimism button can’t be turned on and the happiness pill are all drowned in the sink filled with water so they are both useless.
You don’t feel like doing anything even though the sun is shining brightly and triumphantly in the sky, but here you are stock in your bedroom don’t have anything you want to eat or do or drink. Making all the pity questions in your head that you weren’t suppose to be thinking in the first place. I don’t know i just feel so off today.
Oh well by the way i do apologize for not writing in the past months I’ve been occupied by a lot of things. And here I am writing how off my Monday is even though its just half of the day probably later I’ll find a magic wand and turn this off day into a nice one. But certainly I did accomplish writing something today. That would be a great start though.
Without a plan but a lot of thought, here I am still awake in the midst of dawn. I don’t know how to start but I end up here. Maybe its a good thing or not, here I am again lost for words on how to express my deepest thought. I may be lost in a lot of things but I won’t be lost going home, this morning I’ll be home and will be sleeping in my not so fluffy pillow and bed probably that’s one reason why I have this sleepless night. Can’t sleep, already tried to read a book but still can’t sleep maybe that’s how excited I am for the fact that I’ll be seeing my mom, bro, dad and the rest of the fam or I could blame it on the three mug of tea that I drunk during dinner.
Well to give you a brief background on my life right now, I’m far from home (the place where I grew up) like a 3-4 hour ride on the bus. And I’m on a journey of discovering what God has planned for me. Also in making a living and accepting all opportunities that may come on my way (includes a possible career shift— but still undecided) You could classify me as a Young Adult, leaving teenage life and welcoming the challenging adult life.
So this is my first post here on my new blog and I just want to thank you for giving some time reading it. and you’ll gonna read a lot from me soon, but for now let me bid my goodnight.